insert suitable evil laughter here: mwahahahahah
okay, my blogs don't usually have pictures, it doesn't mean i don't take pictures, i'm just too lazy to upload them because i have to:
1. lug out my big ugly brute of a laptop
2. wait a while for it to stabilize or it will hang and lag
3. turn on bluetooth, wait for years for all the uploads to upload
4. transfer to pendrive (includes risk of transfering the viruses in my laptop to my recently devirused pc {i'm pretty sure its trojan not even karspersky works})
5. turn on main computer, non wireless modem.
6. avert eyes while trying to connect or drama queen missy modem won't connect properly.
7. wait.
8. open firefox (have to wait a few minutes and i have to press lots of times to get it out)
9. close extra firefox windows.
10. stick the pendrive into the socket which is on the floor and behind my huge motherboards butt.(really dusty too)
11. wait for it to copy.
12. sign into blogger
13. upload.
and the really pathetic thing is i really have to do it step by step like that or the wretched hell thingamajig just hangs and you're back to step 1.
ah well, my mobile phone bill is gonna be huge..
Sunday, January 31, 2010
i'm not going to go about this all fancy and pretty. I hate laughing, it leaves empty and sad and it won't go away. it keeps me up at night just by not being there. now i feel so alone and empty, it's in my stomach, it's in my head, it's in my thoughts. It just leaves me wanting more. I need to keep laughing but there's no one there. it's like toiling under disgusting conditions on an empty stomach. i lose sight of everything. I don't want to live just to exist like those poor bastards in my essay. day in day out doing stuff that wont matter in a month a year a lifetime later. there's nothing cool about this, nothing 'emo' about this just plain depressing. I have to look into this fact everyday, but there's nothing i can see. in my future the land is barren, there's nothing but the bleak ugly horizons, the land doesn't disappear in the curve of the earth it just goes on and on until eyes rots or sight fails. i will have to live day in day out forever and ever and on and on. i don't matter anyway, to everybody else i'm just a ugly sulky bully with a crave for attention by threatening to drop dead any second. maybe i am, maybe i'm not. i don't care. i just want it to end. it hurts me to know that i will have to continue this meaningless existence. in the end all things die. they have to it is the law of the universe the nature of how things go.
imma bee!!
i just renewed my blog look..
how is it? i just randomly chose the colours..
a major headache to look at hahah
anyway my self esteem is severely squashed...
mmm not that i know why
perhaps it's to do with being a talentless loser?
mmmm.. figures
went to celebrate my birthday
mmm.. kinda fun
went to fridays, told waiter was with a bunch of friends, he showed me to a table with a bunch of grown ups..
mmm..thinkthink
then requested for a table for five. called ming as they were walking in. Ordered.
dunno why but the sight and scent of food nauseated me.. Pregnant?
mmm.. thinkthink.. nah
stranger was late. ate. karuwe does not like vegetables.
mmm.. bearinmindbearinmind
fish and chips was nice. payed for lunch. smiles all around. sher, ming, karuwe went to check out shoes. Stranger and i got tickets. messed up big time. fixed big time. karuwe contemplated present for friend. saw michael jackson portable fan. laughed.
ming, sher, stranger and karuwe got ripped off buying present for me. bodyshop eyeliner.
mmm.. thanks.
went to borders. laughed at pride prejudice zombies with ninja version. laugh at chinglish. sent karuwe safely to transport home. went back to borders. found out evangeline meant bringer of good news, andrew means courageous, lee means poet, chiyo means eternal, yin means silver. left borders. went to jco. drank iced green tea. laughed at couple lolling over couch, asleep. queued for popcorn. potty break. watched movie. finished movie. contacted transport. went to bead zone. got necklace. a capital letter E for evil. commenced suitable laughter.
went home.
technically should be reposing now. will. soon.
how is it? i just randomly chose the colours..
a major headache to look at hahah
anyway my self esteem is severely squashed...
mmm not that i know why
perhaps it's to do with being a talentless loser?
mmmm.. figures
went to celebrate my birthday
mmm.. kinda fun
went to fridays, told waiter was with a bunch of friends, he showed me to a table with a bunch of grown ups..
mmm..thinkthink
then requested for a table for five. called ming as they were walking in. Ordered.
dunno why but the sight and scent of food nauseated me.. Pregnant?
mmm.. thinkthink.. nah
stranger was late. ate. karuwe does not like vegetables.
mmm.. bearinmindbearinmind
fish and chips was nice. payed for lunch. smiles all around. sher, ming, karuwe went to check out shoes. Stranger and i got tickets. messed up big time. fixed big time. karuwe contemplated present for friend. saw michael jackson portable fan. laughed.
ming, sher, stranger and karuwe got ripped off buying present for me. bodyshop eyeliner.
mmm.. thanks.
went to borders. laughed at pride prejudice zombies with ninja version. laugh at chinglish. sent karuwe safely to transport home. went back to borders. found out evangeline meant bringer of good news, andrew means courageous, lee means poet, chiyo means eternal, yin means silver. left borders. went to jco. drank iced green tea. laughed at couple lolling over couch, asleep. queued for popcorn. potty break. watched movie. finished movie. contacted transport. went to bead zone. got necklace. a capital letter E for evil. commenced suitable laughter.
went home.
technically should be reposing now. will. soon.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Demons and Angels
There's nothing you can do
when the demons come out to play
I said I don't want to
but they say they're here to stay
Every black thought
I conceive in my heart deep,
Every evil memory
they awaken even when I sleep
The demons in my head,
they won't leave me alone,
Perhaps it's better if I was dead
even though the thought chills me to the bone
at least I'll be alone
in my head.
___________________
Every peal of laughter
is music to my ears
even sometime after
it still brings me joy without peer
Leaving twinkling motes of mirth
in the air from whence it burst forth
A lingering taste of sweet spice
and utter delight
To bring rapturous moments
of pure heaven
Snatches and glimpse
of perfect paradise
Into the life of another
What could compare
to lighting lives
with untainted delight?
This job of Angels
What could compare?
If we open our eyes
we see them everywhere...
I wrote demons when I was really upset for reasons which i cannot disclose
Now that i read it, the litany 'demons in my head' kinda goes together with' squirrels in my pants' (the one candace sings in phineas and ferb hahahahha) kinda rhymes in a weird way..
Angels is how i feel when i make people laugh, i feel happier when i make someone laugh rather than laughing myself.
comment.
when the demons come out to play
I said I don't want to
but they say they're here to stay
Every black thought
I conceive in my heart deep,
Every evil memory
they awaken even when I sleep
The demons in my head,
they won't leave me alone,
Perhaps it's better if I was dead
even though the thought chills me to the bone
at least I'll be alone
in my head.
___________________
Every peal of laughter
is music to my ears
even sometime after
it still brings me joy without peer
Leaving twinkling motes of mirth
in the air from whence it burst forth
A lingering taste of sweet spice
and utter delight
To bring rapturous moments
of pure heaven
Snatches and glimpse
of perfect paradise
Into the life of another
What could compare
to lighting lives
with untainted delight?
This job of Angels
What could compare?
If we open our eyes
we see them everywhere...
I wrote demons when I was really upset for reasons which i cannot disclose
Now that i read it, the litany 'demons in my head' kinda goes together with' squirrels in my pants' (the one candace sings in phineas and ferb hahahahha) kinda rhymes in a weird way..
Angels is how i feel when i make people laugh, i feel happier when i make someone laugh rather than laughing myself.
comment.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
I can't resist it!!!
I just gotta say
ahem lead singer of owlcity
--> adam young
anti-christ in good omens, collab between tp & Neil Gaiman
guess what??!!
ADAM YOUNG!!
I know it's stupid like telling ppl god turned the other way round is dog but
WOW!! hahahahahha
and i loove his voice..
ahem lead singer of owlcity
--> adam young
anti-christ in good omens, collab between tp & Neil Gaiman
guess what??!!
ADAM YOUNG!!
I know it's stupid like telling ppl god turned the other way round is dog but
WOW!! hahahahahha
and i loove his voice..
TagTagTag
1_ 大名: C---- Y--
2_ 生日: 5th Feb
3_ 谁传给你的: Ming
4_ 生日想拿到什么礼物: to know the meaning of existence and where do ppl go after they die and to have someone whom i can really talk to
5_ 最近压力大的事: SPM
6_ 想做的事: curl up and die
7_ 有没有喜欢的人: Neil Gaiman~Gerard way~
8_ 跟谁出去最幸福+快乐: never was
9_ 如果你的好朋友吵架了,你会怎么做: i'm usually the cause
10_ 最想和别人去那里: neverwhere
11_ 圣诞节想做什么: don't celebrate it
12_ 最想跟谁庆祝圣诞节: refer to statement above
13_ 最近在做什么: wonder where has all my holidays gone
14_ 有几个兄弟姐妹: none
15_ 最喜欢的一首英文/华文歌: Right now? Time is running out-Muse
16_ 喜欢什么颜色: open to options
17_ 上厕所会不会冲水: open to options hahahahahah
18_ 喜欢男还是女生: open to options
19_ 最想大大声说什么: hahahahahahahahhahah
20_ 半夜敢不敢上厕所: depends, i feel safer at home..
21_ 你现在最恨谁: politicians
22_ 现在喜欢做什么: stare at dust particles so pretty..
23_ 睡相好不好看: i am never awake to see it but i am sure it is not a pretty sight
24_ 现在的时间: 10.3pm
25_ 是否厌恨传给你这卷子的人: not sure
26_ 体重多少: not telling
27_ 今天天气: damn hot, i know coz i washed my mum's car
28_ 如果忙完了你最想做什么: Sleep.
29_ 失眠后会怎样: never happens during school hols
30_ 你晚上睡觉会不会尿床: i dunno.. maybe it evaporates hahahahah
31_ 你晚上睡觉会不会流口水: yes
32_ 你有没有吃过夜宵: no
33_ 近期开心的事: stopped worrying about pmr results..
34_ 自由对你来说重要吗: not really, never go anywhere anyway..
35_ 你觉得在朋友当中谁最性感: none
36_ 你觉得你比较笨还是聪明: i am ignorant and so is everyone else hahahaahh
37_ 你比较喜欢爸爸还是妈妈: can't choose
38_ 你现在最想看到谁: neil gaiman
39_ 你爱看戏吗: no patience
40_ 你敢向你讨厌的人说"我恨你吗?: too common to meet them
++附加问题++
41_ 你打算几时结婚啊: when the time is right
42_ 你喜欢你的生活吗: no
43_ 相信塔罗牌吗: never tried
44_ 睡觉前所做的事情: dream
45_ 你的偶像: neil gaiman
46_ 你喜欢的季节: winter and autumn
47_ 最想去的地方: ireland, england, france
48_ 最讨厌怎样的性格的人: sickeningly optimistic
49_ 你会抽烟吗: no
50_ 你会喝酒吗: shandy counts? i tried wine, more bitter than sweet
51_ 你常哭吗: yes, but i won't tell you why because you won't understand
52_ 你常笑吗: sometimes
53_ 想睡到几点: forever
54_ 朋友和情人你会选谁: me
55_ 机会+命运你会选谁: Luck and hardwork
56_ 你很自恋吗: you tell me
57_ 你有穿耳洞吗: no
58_ 这问卷多不多: no
59_ 喜欢吃冰吗: yes
60_ 现在幸福吗: no
61_ 最在乎谁: me
62_ 房间里最重要的东西是什么: my books, my soft toys, my handphone
63_ 没有朋友你会怎么做: what i'm doing now
64_ 如果天使给你实现一个愿望,你想要什么: that all realm of consciousness end
65_ 这个问题废吗: no, it is a philosophical question too deep for mortals to comprehend
67_ 喜欢那个水果: apple, orange
68_ 最怕人家问你什么: do you want to get married? What do you want to be when you grow up? Are you confident you will graduate and lead a monotonous life?
69_ 喜欢下雪吗: if i'm indoors with a cozy fire and hot choco
70_ 下辈子要做什么: don't ask me that!!
71_ 希望再被tag吗: water bear, nick taught me this word..
72_ 没事做你喜欢等人吗: no
73_ 你吃饱了没有?： yes
74_ 看到問卷你的反應是?: hey, sheryl and boon didn't tag me..
-点到必填，不填代表你不尊重传给你的人和问卷
-请老实回答每一问题
-不能擅自涂改题目
-写完请点10 位小朋友，不可以不点
-完后请通知那10 位小朋友被点到的小朋友我最爱的你们～看你们幸运被我点到
1.Ming (done)
2.Shryl(done)
3.Boon(done)
4.Shan
5.Vanessa
6.WenJuin
7.somebody
8.nobody
9.anybody
10.You!, whoever the hell you are.. you're creepy...
2_ 生日: 5th Feb
3_ 谁传给你的: Ming
4_ 生日想拿到什么礼物: to know the meaning of existence and where do ppl go after they die and to have someone whom i can really talk to
5_ 最近压力大的事: SPM
6_ 想做的事: curl up and die
7_ 有没有喜欢的人: Neil Gaiman~Gerard way~
8_ 跟谁出去最幸福+快乐: never was
9_ 如果你的好朋友吵架了,你会怎么做: i'm usually the cause
10_ 最想和别人去那里: neverwhere
11_ 圣诞节想做什么: don't celebrate it
12_ 最想跟谁庆祝圣诞节: refer to statement above
13_ 最近在做什么: wonder where has all my holidays gone
14_ 有几个兄弟姐妹: none
15_ 最喜欢的一首英文/华文歌: Right now? Time is running out-Muse
16_ 喜欢什么颜色: open to options
17_ 上厕所会不会冲水: open to options hahahahahah
18_ 喜欢男还是女生: open to options
19_ 最想大大声说什么: hahahahahahahahhahah
20_ 半夜敢不敢上厕所: depends, i feel safer at home..
21_ 你现在最恨谁: politicians
22_ 现在喜欢做什么: stare at dust particles so pretty..
23_ 睡相好不好看: i am never awake to see it but i am sure it is not a pretty sight
24_ 现在的时间: 10.3pm
25_ 是否厌恨传给你这卷子的人: not sure
26_ 体重多少: not telling
27_ 今天天气: damn hot, i know coz i washed my mum's car
28_ 如果忙完了你最想做什么: Sleep.
29_ 失眠后会怎样: never happens during school hols
30_ 你晚上睡觉会不会尿床: i dunno.. maybe it evaporates hahahahah
31_ 你晚上睡觉会不会流口水: yes
32_ 你有没有吃过夜宵: no
33_ 近期开心的事: stopped worrying about pmr results..
34_ 自由对你来说重要吗: not really, never go anywhere anyway..
35_ 你觉得在朋友当中谁最性感: none
36_ 你觉得你比较笨还是聪明: i am ignorant and so is everyone else hahahaahh
37_ 你比较喜欢爸爸还是妈妈: can't choose
38_ 你现在最想看到谁: neil gaiman
39_ 你爱看戏吗: no patience
40_ 你敢向你讨厌的人说"我恨你吗?: too common to meet them
++附加问题++
41_ 你打算几时结婚啊: when the time is right
42_ 你喜欢你的生活吗: no
43_ 相信塔罗牌吗: never tried
44_ 睡觉前所做的事情: dream
45_ 你的偶像: neil gaiman
46_ 你喜欢的季节: winter and autumn
47_ 最想去的地方: ireland, england, france
48_ 最讨厌怎样的性格的人: sickeningly optimistic
49_ 你会抽烟吗: no
50_ 你会喝酒吗: shandy counts? i tried wine, more bitter than sweet
51_ 你常哭吗: yes, but i won't tell you why because you won't understand
52_ 你常笑吗: sometimes
53_ 想睡到几点: forever
54_ 朋友和情人你会选谁: me
55_ 机会+命运你会选谁: Luck and hardwork
56_ 你很自恋吗: you tell me
57_ 你有穿耳洞吗: no
58_ 这问卷多不多: no
59_ 喜欢吃冰吗: yes
60_ 现在幸福吗: no
61_ 最在乎谁: me
62_ 房间里最重要的东西是什么: my books, my soft toys, my handphone
63_ 没有朋友你会怎么做: what i'm doing now
64_ 如果天使给你实现一个愿望,你想要什么: that all realm of consciousness end
65_ 这个问题废吗: no, it is a philosophical question too deep for mortals to comprehend
67_ 喜欢那个水果: apple, orange
68_ 最怕人家问你什么: do you want to get married? What do you want to be when you grow up? Are you confident you will graduate and lead a monotonous life?
69_ 喜欢下雪吗: if i'm indoors with a cozy fire and hot choco
70_ 下辈子要做什么: don't ask me that!!
71_ 希望再被tag吗: water bear, nick taught me this word..
72_ 没事做你喜欢等人吗: no
73_ 你吃饱了没有?： yes
74_ 看到問卷你的反應是?: hey, sheryl and boon didn't tag me..
-点到必填，不填代表你不尊重传给你的人和问卷
-请老实回答每一问题
-不能擅自涂改题目
-写完请点10 位小朋友，不可以不点
-完后请通知那10 位小朋友被点到的小朋友我最爱的你们～看你们幸运被我点到
1.Ming (done)
2.Shryl(done)
3.Boon(done)
4.Shan
5.Vanessa
6.WenJuin
7.somebody
8.nobody
9.anybody
10.You!, whoever the hell you are.. you're creepy...
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