you don't have to read this, it's boring, just skip, you'll be glad for this warning

what i really hate about being a teenager is that i don't have the confidence of having seen the world, the goddamned resignation to fate that only time and age have the power to bestow. time is moving but i'm not, like where the heck will i be in 10, 20 years? rotting in some gutter or stuck in some 24/7 job? i don't know which i' more terrified of.
and why is it that around the time where exams come aknocking, i would always crawl back to this sewer-like, hellhole of a blog to ramble, no matter how much it hurts me, no matter how emo i end up becoming.
speaking of emo-ism, gawd, have i mentioned how much i dislike emo-ism? being depressed is fine. it's like dirt, everyone must eat a shovel of dirt before they die, but depression because it is in vogue? wtf? a couple of kids go diving off a building or into the oncoming traffic and everyone is into dying. oh look at me, i'm spewing emo philosophies about death i'm so fucking grown up because you see, me and my pal, the grim reaper, we've come to an understanding cause i'm cool, i'm talking fuck trash in glossy black nails, i am goddamn stooopid like, jump off a building already, pleeeaaassee
and suddenly, dying is cool again.
sheeesh, if you're so into dying, gimme your life, your hopes, your dreams, feed me, fill me with burning ambition to get somewhere, to do something, tell me what to do. please.
neil and amanda are so awesome together. did they know where they were headed when they were 17? i doubt i'll ever get as far as they. i'll spend my days liquefying, rotting on my bed with maggots waving out my sockets and i'll go 'ah... ah... look, it's a maggot... and now i don't care' and continue rotting. say, that's kinda fun. the night of the walking dead but still alive in a way chewie. i should direct that film. yessss.... a legion of children of the night.... children of the midmorning and afternoon can come join up too! we're not picky really. with a music score by hans zimmer.. yeah... that's the stuff... strawberry jam all over...
maybe people like blogging because no one can interrupt them halfway through their rambles, no one to say 'hey you're weird you know that'. it's kinda nice really. had my maggot speech been said in real life, shuen would have interrupted half-way through and informed that i was heading down weirdville and i was lacking in sense of humour. why humour? aqueous humour is they jelly in your eyes and i'm sure i have them or there'll be a maggot waving out my sockets. were they tired of making new words?
could i present this blog to the judges at my elocution tomorrow? i haven't written a freaking word and that stupid line thing just keeps flashing on and off, on and off at me from my empty microsoft word doc. on and off and on and off and on. i've decided to allow all of you judges and fans out there some time to fully appreciate the blissful noise of blind static which has almost gone extinct from our modern world of cellphones and cars. so just listen carefully as i carefully utter anti-sound okay?


thank you for lending me your ears.

will they except it? mebbe not...

i am so stuck...

i warned you it was boring.

I just stalked both neil and amanda online, absolutely crazy, totally spontaneous combustionly wicked

apparently they had an engagement party and i can ramble on like this forever if allowed to and they are so perfect together i could cry

happy tears of course
a little sad salty liquids cause i won't be there on the happy event and that amanda palmer's 'who killed amanda palmer: a collection of photographic evidence' cannot be found in both borders and mph and costs $35 online. how much is that in rm no i don't want to know. i have the license to both dream and ramble apparently.

i have just discovered that the centre of the galaxy tastes like raspberries and smells of rum. mmm... galaxies with raspberry rum centres, yum. no, your sparkling windows to your soul doth not deceiveth thee. Why, you ask? perhaps the creator liked raspberry and rum or maybe the galaxy is a chocolate truffle with said filling in a lady godiva's chocolate box in KLIA. a mind bender is what we have here.

Lady Godiva is a female who strips naked and rides on a horse around town to protest against the rocketing price of chocolates and the mindless act of sticking chewed gum beneath tables. Yet to be tenses. Chocolates should be free to be eaten.

For dinner, i shall consume the skeletons of fried fishes with my eyes and rice, broccoli, toufu with my mouth. yum yum.

I wonder if the owners of Queensbay mall would chase me out if i stripped naked and posed as a naked living statue in the central area. with 3 fig leaves for indecent spots for the kiddies. halloween is dreadfully near.

just heard justin bieber sing. a girl's voice. all those rants weren't mindless exaggerations.

-est-ce que je peux aller aux toilettes, s'il vous plait?
-non, desole.
-oh.. j'ai de la chance !

..my first french comedic dialogue.

je t'embrasse. grosses bises.
Chewy.

ps. brian, you are awesome: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slRmQhAWszo&feature=player_embedded

Saline

The captor sleeps

Super fruit in super raincoat

Ong lye's raincoat

What color is the blocks by the sides? Pink or purple?

Through the looking glass

Reflections

Light

No Social Life?

i shall now address this issue of which my dear friend is facing.
having no social life
uhuh... we aren't humans ya... i can live with that
uhuh... she tells me about going to a party organized by dalat students and they drank wine and hung around... i've never been to a party other than my mum's friends' potluck... but i can live with that
she hangs out with YE members all day while i can't interact coherently with my peers... still can live with that..
actually, i can live without all that :)
being with myself in my own head is fine and nice and nice and fine

btw. people who get lost in thought are idiots. Who gets lost in their own thoughts? you made them all after all.. you should move around your thoughts with the ease and confidence of an utter bastard, swerve and veer, unruffled. Perhaps you face up with a queer, alien thought that surprises you, think cool.. unruffled.. cool... unruffled... XD

niever gone niever was

have i mentioned my honest dislike of the internet? XD

okays, i'm blogging so that i dont have to do my homework..

Internet, you are my form of escapism and i hate you for that. sincerely.

ookay what to say~ what to do~

YOU! yes you the one yawning and saying get on with it you biatch..

i'm going no where so bugger off.. ahah ahah ahhah

wasn't that the most interestingly refreshingly sadly depressing way to laugh :)
oh do say yes, my love.

let me describe my new room. it's really high, about the height of 3 chiou yihs and it slants down so its kinda like an attic and at the very tallest point, there is a row of windows so that the rays of the sun shines in like a cathedral and i can lie on my bed and stare up at the dust dancing swirling in sparkling motes above my head and at night i can hear all the night time sounds, passionate love making of cats, shrieks of midnight creatures and all the stuffs of imagination come to life in the crevice of my mind. childhood is just stuffed with wonders.
and there is a huge shelf where we used to store our junk. i cant reach it even when i jump on my bed and i can climb up there on a ladder to see the sun set if i want to. in the night, it's the perfect food for my imagination. it's the perfect place for some dark creature to crouch on to watch me sleep, breathe soft and light as a feather, airy ethereal silver of moonlight. the perfect nightmare.

whatever.

i rEALLY should write my nie now.

but then again. what the heck. that's my latest tagline :D

i'm thinking aboot liearnin french.. but with my habit and unconditional love for procrastination, it shall remain nothing but a thought tucked in the attic of my mind.

two guys conversed in english on my bus. so sad.

i'm listening to one i love by meav. love it.

~They tell me he's poor, they tell me he's young
I tell them all to hold their tongue~

hahahahah hold their tongues XD


what to say..

oh.. okay i can't sing. my voice is tuneless neither high nor low. when i sing it ends up as a kind of screeching. to see people sing with absolute ease and unalloyed joy is to watch others soar when you have no wings. to submerge in the unadulterated happiness to music in its purest form, the dulcet tones of ones own voice, no obscene or bulky medium between one and music. and i'm in hell. but it is still beautiful to be able to see a person united with music in song however much it hurts.


Little white flowers will
never awaken you
Not where the black coach
of sorrow has taken you
Angels have no thought of
ever returning you


sigh work beckons. fuck you, work.

I sold books ! :D

I cooked an edible fish!

Bouquet de fleur

Running in the rain

To eat chocolates in a great big room where the world is a different place..

Road to sweet perdition

Leaving kl... aw..

I'm in kl!